OK kids, buckle your seatbelts and heeeeere we go!

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This is the VFP (Very First Post) on my blog, Darlin Diaries. 

Where in the name of all that is good and right and holy did I come up with a name like that? Well… Bloggeritaville was already taken by my brand new friend Leigh (you really ought to follow her) and I have special affection (d/b/a Big Love) for the nickname Darlin.

I’m a redneck, you see, and good ole girls love to be called darlin. We often call others – both men and women – Darlin. Sometimes we say “bless your heart, Darlin,” but that really means something truly unkind. My favorite country and western sing-along song? (Because, truly, what other kind of song it there, right?) is You Never Even Called Me By My Name (The Perfect Country and Western Song) by David Allan Coe*. In the unlikely event that you are reading this and don’t know me, you must have stumbled on this blog by accident. If so…

Let me sing you the song of my people: 

Well it was all that I could do to keep from crying.
Sometimes it seems so useless to remain.
But you don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’.
You never even called me by my name.
You don’t have to call me Waylon Jennings.
And you don’t have to call me Charlie Priiiiiide.
And you don’t have to call me Merle Haggard anymore,
Even though you’re on my fightin’ side.
And I’ll hang around as long as you will let me. (let me let me let me LET ME!!!!) 
And I never minded standing in the rain.
But you don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’.
You never even called me by my name.
Well I’ve heard my name a few times in your phone book.
(Hello, Hello.)
And I’ve seen it on signs where I’ve played.
But the only time I know I’ll hear David Allan Coe
Is when Jesus has his final Judgement Day.
So, I’ll hang around as long as you will let me.  (let me let me let me LET ME!!!!) 
And I never minded standing in the rain.
But you don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’.
You never even called me by my name.
(spoken:)
Well, a friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song,
and he told me it was the perfect country and western song.
I wrote him back a letter and I told him it was NOT the 
perfect country and western song because he hadn’t said
anything at all about momma, or trains, or trucks, 
or prison or gettin’ drunk. Well, he sat down and 
wrote another verse to this song and he sent it to me and
after reading it I realized that my friend had written the 
perfect country and western song. And I felt obliged to include
it on this album. The last verse goes like this here:
Well, I was drunk the day my momma got out of prison,
And I went to pick her up in the rain. But before I could get to the station in my pickuuuuup truck, she got runned over by a da(nged) old train 

(sing it with me!) 

And I’ll hang around as long as you will let me.  (let me let me let me LET ME!!!!) 
And I never minded standing in the rain.
But you don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’.
You never even called me by my name.

Another of my very favorite songs in the WWW (whole wide world) is the old Conway Twitty heartbreaker “Hello, Darlin’.”

Hello darlin’… nice to see ya
it’s been a long time
you’re just as lovely as you used to be 
how’s your new love, are you happy?
hope you’re doin’ fine
just to know it means so much to me

What’s that darlin’ ? how am I doin?
I’m doin’ alright except I can’t sleep I cry all night ’till dawn
What I’m tryin’ to say is I love you and I miss you and I’m so sorry that I did you wrong

Look up darlin’ let me kiss you
just for old times sake 
let me hold you in my arms one more time
thank you darlin’ may God bless you and each step you take
bring you closer to the things you seek to find

Goodbye darlin’ I gotta go now
gotta try to find a way to lose these memories of a love so warm and true
and if you should ever find it in your heart to forgive me
come back darlin’ I’ll be waitin’ for you

So. That’s why, Darlin, the blog is named such.  Before I accepted my current position (hereafter known as the Redneck Girl’s Dream Job, RGDJ for short)  I was the General Manager of a tiny once-a-week county paper in Nowhere, Kentucky. So I wrote. I wrote an editorial column, I wrote about the Chamber of Commerce and the baseball team and the American Legion and puppy dog adoptions and the Founder’s Day Festival and the 75th anniversary of the local hardware store (God Bless the Akridge Family, amen). And I loved it, people. LOVED it. They tell me I was good at it.

I’ve been missing the freestyle writing I used to do, and some of my former readers have been ON MY HINEY to start a blog. So  here it is. I hope you like it. If you don’t, well,  I recommend that you don’t read it, Darlin.

*mention of activities in this song does not condone or endorse such activities.

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