So, Darlin’, carbs are the work of the devil

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I love carbs. I don’t care anything about sweets, so in my anti-carbquest weight-loss program, that is likely a good thing. I don’t care if there is cake or pie or cake AND pie… sweets are just not my thing.
Give me a salty/crunchy, though, and Katie bar the door. I can blow through a bag of Cheetos or Doritos like a champ. Chips and salsa (or cheese dip?) at the local Mexican eatery? Shoot! Change my name to Hoover Eureka, because they’ll be gone in a flash.
Sadly, those crunchy salty foods, along with the bread on my beloved sandwiches, are loaded with those gut-growing carb-calories.
So, we’ve been limiting carb intake at my house. I find that if there are no rolls with dinner, DH will simply say “where are the rolls?” When I reply “there aren’t any,” he loads his plate with other stuff and moves right on. He DOES love a potato, and I haven’t included any in the dinner rotation for a while… he’s mentioned it, but I can’t say that he’s gone on a hunger strike protesting the lack of taters.
After church on Sunday, I stopped by the farmer’s market and picked up some first-of-summer tomatoes. They’re not nearly as acidic and juicy as the ones later in the season promise to be, but they will do to get me started on my favorite sandwich of the summer season… the BLT.
Yes, I love a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. I remember noticing when I was a kid that my daddy was all fresh-Wonder-Bread-and-Miracle-Whip while my mom was wheat-toast-and-mustard. Looking back on their marriage, that says a lot…
DH is a toast-and-mayo guy, and I am my mother’s daughter with wheat toast and spicy brown mustard.
But I digress. As usual.
So last night I fried up a pound of bacon in preparation for the first BLTs of summer. Hey, we don’t get out much, so this is kind of a big deal. I decided to just throw the carb-and-calorie-count slick overboard and slice up some potatoes that we had in the cabinet and fired up the Fry Daddy (yea, it hasn’t seen much action lately, either…).
I grabbed the bag of potatoes only to find they had been sitting in a puddle of brown tater-water where a couple had rotted. Yuck. I cleaned up the cabinet and checked the potatoes to see if any were salvageable. Hey, Donny Osmond always said “One Bad Apple Don’t Spoil the Whole Bunch, Baby!”
I was delighted to see that all five pounds weren’t ruined, and chose the few survivors to wash off and prepare.
Perhaps I am showing my age, but who else thinks about The Lost Boys (vampire movie, 1987. Look it up.) when they see maggots? Well, I do, and despite my otherwise clean household, a few specimens in this carb-laden, Lord-knows-how-old sack of potatoes had proven to be a breeding ground for the nasties. It happens. (retch)
While this was great for appetite control, it did little for my meal plan. So I grabbed a bag of Ruffles and called it good.
Well, it WAS good until DH asked what the hairy green spot was on his bread after it popped up from the toaster. (retch again)
Moral of the story, Darlin?
Low carb is good, but when you DO plan to eat those foods, run by the Piggly Wiggly first. Never depend on the relics in the pantry.

One response »

  1. I’m with you, Rae. Keep your sweets…if it’s made with salt, starch and fat, I’m there :). Sadly, so are my hips and waistline *sigh*. I felt a bit queasy reading about the maggots…I have to cook rice for Patti’s new food regime when I get home. It’s the same bag o’ rice that Wen and Jules were eating from. Need I say more?

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