For the love of pie


I am so sorry to be late on my post, Darlin, but have I told you lately how much I love the Redneck Girl’s Dream Job (RGDJ)? It’s a lot.

Last week, we hosted the 2016 Kentucky Commodity Conference in conjunction with corn and small grains. This year, for the first time, the Kentucky Soybean Association hosted a fundraising auction for our Political Action Committee (SoyPAC).

There were a number of items available for auction, including a shotgun, a drone, a trip, tractor lease for a year, and a whole lotta bourbon. We Kentuckians love our bourbon.

One item of interest to some farmer-leaders who serve on our board was the “pie in the face.” Yes, we three staffers decided we would let the winning bidder “pie” the staffer of their choice. Becky is expecting, and she is super-sweet anyway, so there was no way anyone would pie her. Debbie is the Executive Director, so I felt pretty confident that I was going to eat some whipped cream. And, sure enough, $100 or so later, this happened:


which made this happen:


NOT my best look.

But then, as I was in the restroom trying to unearth my face from the mountain of Redi-Whip, I heard Debbie calling me from the hall. “You get to pie Ryan!” she said with a smile. The Ryan in question is Bivens, the guy who gently smooshed the pie in my face in the top photo above.  And he was gentle. I mean, as gentle as a guy can be, when he’s trying to cram whipped cream up my nose and into my brain.

KSA President Mike Burchett is a true southern gentleman, and he bought the rights to “pie” a farmer-leader… and he gave his prize to ME! (I love that man)

And something bad happened inside my head. I had a golden opportunity, quite possibly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pie RYAN BIVENS! And… perhaps… I might have gotten a little overzealous. Maybe I snapped. I dunno. FullSizeRenderYa think? Do you see the velocity with which that fringe on my vest is flying?  Other photos indicate that I “may” have extended my arm all the way in order to wind up as much as possible.

The good news is that Past President Bivens is a really good sport. It cost the other board members an additional $100 to get his name on the list, but I for one believe it was totally worth it. A few days later, I swear I can still taste whipped cream and graham crackers. But the taste of a payback was sweeter, by far.

One response »

  1. I have NEVER seen a gentler pie-smoosher than that guy. I mean, he’s using his fingertips. Are you sure he didn’t just hold it and you dove in? ‘Cause that’s probably what I’d do… depending on the flavor, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

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